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I’m a sucker for a workbook. Give me the chance to write out my feelings, and I will start scribbling incessantly, filling up every line of every fill-in-the-blank until I have to scrunch my words into the margins, letting my sentences curl up the page.
They satiate my need to feel productive. Hey, I’m doing something! Look at all of these exercises I’ve done to learn something about myself! Then, about 25-30 pages in, I often feel like I’m spinning my wheels: Why am I wasting hours filling out this workbook when I could be rolling up my sleeves and taking action?!
I get restless talking or thinking about ideas for too long.
But then I found Ayse Birsel’s Design the Life You Love and thought I’d give it a try, committing to work on it in chunks. Once I started feeling restless, I’d shelf it until I hit a roadblock and just wanted to process my thoughts through words and sketches.
The book helps you deconstruct what you want — and what it takes to get there — through word mapping, sketching and other exercises. Everything’s designed to be done stream-of-consciousness-style, and it can be pretty surprising what answers tumble out as you work.
In one exercise, for example, you’re supposed to draw a circle in the middle of the page dissecting one aspect of your life, like your time, your family, your job, etc. I chose “home,” since that seemed to be heavy on my mind at the moment. From there, you draw lines outward, writing words to describe anything related to that facet of your life.
After spending 5 minutes jotting down whatever comes to mind, look for any common themes. For me, the idea of “home” is a forked one: It’s partially Florida, partially New York. I soon saw how, particularly now, as many of my friends move, have kids and go through other major life milestones, I was really struggling with my sense of home, specifically:
Settling vs. stability
Adventure vs. support
Excitement/Fulfillment in career vs. quality of life at home
It’s easy to put your head down and just go through life, living out the day-to-day and putting off long-term thinking, especially when it involves rumbling with some tough questions or concerns. But, using this exercise, I had a clearer picture of why I was feeling conflicted — and why I was avoiding thinking beyond today, or this week.
If you’re feeling stuck, Birsel’s book could be a great way to feel creative while working through a thorny issue.
Top Photo: Josh Felise/Unsplash; Bottom two photos: Candace Braun Davison
