By now, everybody knows the main tenet of Marie Kondo’s organizing strategy. So much so that the very notion of keeping only the things that “spark joy” have become a meme.

But The Life-changing Magic Of Tidying Up author’s patented KonMari method goes well beyond folding clothes into little packets and tossing things that don’t light you up inside. Her books go in-depth in her philosophy, but there was one quote in particular that’s struck a chord with me—and six years after I first read it, I had to update this story to say it louder, for the people in the back (as the kids say, though honestly this is mostly a reminder to myself). It’s her take on why we hold onto so many physical possessions in the first place.

Let this quote marinate for a minute:

“When we really delve into the reasons for why we can’t let something go, there are only two: an attachment to the past or a fear for the future.”

—Marie Kondo, Inc.

Looking back at the things I keep storing away in my basement or closet, both sentiments ring true: There are things that spark joy but don’t fit me right, yet I hold onto them because they remind me of who I was—or of a cherished time that’s passed. They’re a physical representation of a fleeting memory; something tangible I can hold onto.

The latter is also true—there are certain things I hold onto out of a conviction that at some point, I could use it…for something. Things can bring a sense of security, especially if you struggle with a scarcity mindset. What will you do if, God forbid, it’s wacky hat day at your daughter’s school and you donated that aviator number from last year’s Danny Go costume?! WHAT WILL YOU DO?!

That’s a silly example, but you get my drift. You will pivot, you will find a way. Holding onto everything you come across doesn’t allow you to control the uncontrollable; it doesn’t give you more security over the future. Which, at its core, is often the real problem for me.

(A Quick Note: Yes, holding onto certain things may prevent you from unnecessary purchases, but the reverse is also true: How many times have you bought something because that thing you held onto was so buried under all of your stuff that you couldn’t find it when you needed it? Or you forgot you had it?)

I’ve been trying to look at things on a case-by-case basis. How likely will I use this again? How fond is the memory that item holds, and do I actually treasure the item, or is it just another thing taking up space?

On that front, the whole process of letting go and paring down has sparked something else in me—a wariness of being too quick to buy new things. And fill my home with things. Sure, we need dining room chairs, but until we find ones we love, the two old rickety chairs and the ottoman will do. Sure, another new dress would be great, but I have a closet full of nice options—do I really need another? It’s simple, but it’s so easy to get caught up in the “add to cart” culture. I’m trying to take a (baby) step back.

Lead Photo: Candace Braun Davison, from a 2018 video shoot with Kondo in New York City