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Life! You’re beautiful and wonderful and such a gift and…so freaking hard. These past few years alone have brought enough to bring anyone to their knees (pandemic, war, mass shootings, climate change, political upheaval, natural disasters, the fight for social justice—you name it). And in talking to therapists, doctors and counselors, one piece of advice has resounded: Take time for yourself. To assess what you need and how you feel, before you move forward.
That can often mean talking about a situation, but for some of us, words don’t come easily. Or we struggle to find someone we can be vulnerable enough with. Or we just can’t drop the ‘everything is fine’ facade to be that vulnerable with other people. In that case, many experts I’ve interviewed recommend finding another outlet to sift through the weight of those emotions bogging you down. That could be journaling, painting, going for a walk, exercising, stomping on sandcastles—whatever helps you process. In that act, whatever it is, you will find sanctuary—and catharsis.
“Be mindful of not suppressing your own feelings. And despite the recurring incidents, it is important not to become numb to this. It is really important to sit with it, even if it is very difficult or painful,” Dr. Nina Vasan, Chief Medical Officer for on-demand mental health service Real, told me.
Sometimes, you need to keep your hands busy to let your mind wander and work through what’s going on with you. Sometimes, that means seeking out a space far from home; and, perhaps, your comfort zone. That’s what I loved about a recent article in Bon Appetit‘s June/July 2022 issue. Titled “Cultivating Queerness,” it chronicled how Rise & Root Farm in Chester, NY, offers ’emergency healing work days’ after major tragedies, like the shooting at Pulse in Orlando.
“We’ve done this for years—inviting people to come and work with us, to reconnect and literally get grounded,” Rise & Root co-owner Michaela Hayes-Hodge says in the essay. It gives people the chance to connect with one another, to feel less alone, while being productive and making space to feel whatever they’re feeling. (It doesn’t hurt that gardening has been linked to reduced anxiety and depression, as well as a serotonin and mindfulness booster.)
Whatever your outlet, find one. Seek something that lets you pour out your feelings and process your pain.
Photo: Cypress Gardens, FL (Candace Braun Davison)
