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I’ve chased it for years, and I know you have too. Everyone talks about the elusive “work-life balance,” that magical state where you can put in just as much into your home life as you do your career, coming out on top in both arenas. A year or two after Lean In came out, and Ted Talks were everywhere, the term hit its peak — and peak backlash. People spurned it for making people have unrealistic expectations, urging you to stop thinking you could “have it all,” when really, every aspect of life has its compromises.
Still, it seemed pessimistic that you couldn’t achieve some concept of “balance” or moderation; maybe we were just defining the idea of what that looks like in the wrong way. That’s exactly what the concept of swaying proposes — it’s a new way to look at finding order in your life without burning yourself out.
Instead of fighting to get a little slice of everything each and every day — being the attentive friend, the caring family member, working out, eating right, pursuing a hobby, going above and beyond at work, and looking hella good every second of it, with flawless hair, makeup, and clothes — you’ve got to get comfortable letting your priorities shift in a not-always-even way.
With swaying, you could spend a week or two obsessing over a major work project, letting your social life go on the backburner. Then, when the project’s wrapped, setting boundaries to give yourself some free time again to focus on the relationships that matter, Cosmo explained in its May 2018 article, “The Surprising ‘Sway’ To Achieve Balance.” This lets you really hone in on something in the moment, rather than have your attention constantly fractured, pulling yourself in a dozen directions a day.
“You’re adjusting your focus to help you cope emotionally with the stressful demands of your life,” California Polytechnic State University psych professor Shawn Burn, PhD, told the magazine.
As tempting as it is to say yes to everything, the biggest sanity-saver can be identifying the times in the months ahead when your personal or professional life will be more demanding and not over-extending yourself.
The Bottom Line: Balance doesn’t need to be quantified by the hour or the day. It’s whatever works best for you.
Top Photo: Arnel Hasanovic/Unsplash
