When I’m traveling, I try to pack as light as possible—just the essentials. If I can get away with a duffle bag or less, I’m all for it. But designer Joanna Gaines makes a compelling case for adding a few items you wouldn’t normally think of packing.

Her memoir, The Stories We Tell, is full of insights encouraging readers to mine every part of their lives—the good, the bad and the so-embarrassing-I-won’t-tell-my-closest-friends—to help people get to the core of who they truly are and what they value. So, at first glance, it may seem silly that this is the insight that stuck with me, but allow Gaines to explain:

“I’ll admit: I’m the weirdo who brings my own candle and speaker from home when we stay in a hotel, and one of the first things I’ll do when we arrive is put a fresh vase of flowers somewhere in our room,” she writes in chapter six.

If you’re anything like me (aka more likely to under-pack than anything else), this might have baffled you. Is she traveling with fresh flowers? Does she make a pit stop at the store? Why a candle, speaker and flowers? I can’t speak to the flower logistics, but she did illuminate that last part.

Here’s why she brings those items in particular: “This is how I mark those moments in my own way. It’s how I remember the way those weekend trips smelled, how they sounded and the way my family knew it was special,” she elaborates. “Even if we’re only there for a day, I’ll invest time in making our space feel like home, like we’re there on purpose, deepening our roots in the things we value—not the flowers themselves, but the emphasis of a worthy moment so when it’s over, we can remember the way it made us feel.”

That ritual helps cement vacations and getaways as core memories, allowing her to take in the present moment with all of her senses as it happens (and provide that gift to her family), and hold onto it after they’ve left. That resonated with me—so often, when traveling, I’m living by an itinerary: where to go next, whether we have everything we need, and so on. I’m always looking to the next moment and have to remind myself to savor the present. Maybe next time I head out of town, I’ll pack a candle with me.

Check out The Stories We Tell: Every Piece of Your Story Matters for more of Gaines’s insights and lessons learned.

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