ChatGPT made me cry. Now that’s an embarrassing sentence to admit. And to be honest, it didn’t make me cry—but it did (shockingly) help me unpack some feelings I’d been struggling with, resulting in a downpour of tears as the understanding overwhelmed me.

I’d been feeling strangely tense, with these angry flare-ups the second anyone called my name. It could be my kids, my husband, a friend—and they could simply be wanting a hug or asking what I wanted for lunch. There was no reason for me to feel this sudden burst of rage. It made no sense.

Why was I barely able to suppress these “leave me alone!” outbursts, and where were they coming from?

“That’s your nervous system waving a red flag, like, ‘I’m maxed out and need a reset.’”

-ChatGPT, accidental life coach

In the midst of a flare-up, I was sitting with my laptop and remembered a few coworkers talking about how people were turning to ChatGPT as a sounding board. While I do not believe that AI can replace a licensed therapist—nor should it—I found myself curiously typing in my quandary. After a few follow-up questions, it offered some insights that stopped me in my tracks:

“That’s your nervous system waving a red flag, like, ‘I’m maxed out and need a reset.’ It’s hard, too, because you’re likely trying to hold everything together while quietly crumbling inside—and that builds resentment fast.”

Oof. Yes, that was it. It just felt like I was constantly being pulled in a million directions, and I never had a moment to think for myself. Even when I was alone, my mind was swirling with what I needed to do, respond to, handle.

It may seem obvious, but as I rushed from one thing to the next, without taking a moment to check in with myself, I was oblivious to what was brewing within me—until it reached a boiling point and my emotions took over.

So, what did it suggest from there? First, being more vocal about needing time to recharge. Second, carving out the time and space to do so. And third, trying a few 30- to 60-minute, intentional breaks from the rest of the world to refuel. It’s something psychologists and research back up (which makes sense, given AI is pulling from sources like this)—and that failing to do so can result in aggression toward your partner and others in your life. Bingo.

There’s even a term for this behavior: aloneliness, a dissatisfaction due to your lack of solitude (which can be particularly critical for introverts).

How to Find Time for “Me Time” (Because That’s the Hardest Part!)

1. Create a Non-Negotiable “Off-Duty Block” — Pick a recurring time twice a week when your partner is in charge of the kids for an hour, “even if that means screens or cereal for dinner,” according to ChatGPT, where nobody contacts you at all. You’re totally on your own, and they’ve got to figure things out for themselves.
   • This could even be once a week, where you and your partner each have a day for their own solo outing while the other watches the kids. Solo parenting bonding time and recharge time? Win-win.
2. Silent Start Mornings — Wake up 30 minutes before your kids typically do, and use that time for quiet reflection. (Easier said than done, if your kids tend to be early risers!)
3. Do Not Disturb Mode — Another ChatGPT recommendation, this is basically setting a boundary that if your bedroom door is shut, you need some alone time, and this can be a rule for everyone in the house.

Whatever you do, make sure you have a plan before going into this downtime. Even if that plan is “I will do absolutely nothing.” Because the worst is when you finally get a few minutes to yourself and spend the entire time debating what to do.

At a loss for what even to try or do? I’ve been there too. After reviewing ChatGPT’s suggestions, cross-referencing them with what psychologists recommend, and testing a few techniques myself, here are the top ideas I’ve found for squeezing in a 30- to 60-minute burst of alone time that can help you feel refreshed, not isolated (or ready to snap).

21 Ideas to Recharge Your Spirit (Rather Than Mindlessly Scroll Instagram)

1. Go on a Wander Society-esque exploratory walk.
2. Practice square breathing (aka box breathing).
3. Try junk journaling, gratitude journaling or a mix of the two.
4. Do a 15-minute yoga flow, either from YouTube or an online class, like Y7.
5. Set a timer to organize just one drawer of a dresser or cabinet. (Sometimes, that little productivity boost can be restorative.)
6. Try diamond art, paint by numbers or punch needling for a satisfying craft with a low barrier to entry/learning curve.
7. Pour your own candle (another simple craft, particularly if you use a candle-making kit).
8. Bake something that keeps your hands busy but is simple enough to let your mind wander. It gives your brain space to defrag while letting you feel productive and creative.
9. Go for a swim.
10. Read one chapter of a book.
11. Give yourself a manicure or pedicure.
12. Massage your face with an ice or jade roller. Or watch a gua sha tutorial and give it a whirl.
13. Tackle Wordle or a crossword puzzle.
14. Write a haiku, just for the sake of it.
15. Now write an entire freeform poem, based on how you’re feeling at this exact moment. You can tear it up or burn it later; just get the words out.
16. Try a 30-20-10 energy booster: 30 seconds of jumping jacks, then hold a 30-second plank; repeat with a 20-second round of each, then a 10-second round. Follow up by slowly drinking an entire glass of water, monitoring how you feel as your body cools down. (I made up this method, based on multiple recommendations to do jumping jacks and hold planks. While I’m not crazy about either, they are pretty effective…and a heck of a lot better than burpees.)
17. Declutter your digital life in 3, 2, 1: Delete 3 photos from your camera roll, close 2 tabs and unsubscribe from 1 mailing list. Ahh, simplicity feels good, doesn’t it?
18. Put on a record and listen to the whole thing…without doing anything else. Just let your mind soak up the music.
19. Go outside, or to a cafe or public space and sketch out a scene you see. Stick figures totally count.
20. Go to the beach and build a sand castle, only to smash it down.
21. Take in the sunset (or sunrise). Practice taking photos during “golden hour.”